Melancholy

I haven’t been very active on this blog lately. It was the holidays, but also something more…or, more accurately, less. I haven’t been taking many photos of late. It’s too dark and it seems like everything is dead. Nothing looks good.

Melancholy is an old fashioned word that sounds a bit like the feeling. I don’t feel sad, or depressed. Those words have an ugly edge to them. Also, the definition of melancholy includes gloom.

This winter has been dark and gray, and I can’t seem to strike a spark, let alone get a fire started.

Little items from our past Christmas’s and Grandma’s cache.

I put up the Christmas decorations, and for the past few days I’m taking them down, slowly. It doesn’t feel like there’s any rush, because there isn’t a next coming along.

There’s nothing really wrong. It’s just winter, and spring feels a long way off. Many winters we don’t have a complete die off. As early as now we might see buds, even a few precocious blossoms.

Last January 12th.

But the cold snaps, snow, freezing rain and wind storms have chased the natural world into hibernation more thoroughly than most years.

January 2020, rumors of a strange illness were just starting on the Chinese message boards.

January 30th marks 3 years since we bid our son farewell in Auckland, as he headed back to China for work…but, as it turned out, lock down, opening up, then lock down, again and again. After enough bouts of disappointed optimism, I am beginning to wonder if we will ever see him again. Nothing dramatic: he is alive and healthy, we didn’t have a fight and now hate each other, but it feels like things are never going to work out.

A small dog bravely preparing to cross a creek that is big by comparison.
A cheerful little dog undaunted by a big world.

Yesterday morning when we awoke our little dog, Asta, had passed away sometime in the night. She was a cheerful, and cheering, little soul, and it’s one more downer.

I just wanted you to know why I’m only half here right now. The days are getting longer now, so maybe things will become less gloomy soon.

11 thoughts on “Melancholy”

  1. Oh so sorry to hear of your dear little Asta’s passing. It’s such a shock when this happens. (((many hugs)))
    I wish winter was over already, too. We don’t have too much wintery weather, in fact it’s been in the 70s lately, but it feels, like you say, gloomy. Hope you get to see your son soon. ❤

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  2. So sorry for your loss; pets bring so much to us. Listening to CBC radio this morning, “muddle fuddles” is a phrase from many centuries ago and seems to fit today. There are many things that are challenging us these days e.g., weather, Covid, war and so much polarisation.

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  3. I’m sor sorry for your loss. Pet’s are definitely family members in many ways. Be gentle with yourself. Winter’s are the time to take photos. The longer nights and dark skies get to me too. 😀 😀 Hang in there.

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